Ahhh…another NFL season has come and gone and, with it, another early winter last minute booking on a cruise ship for the Baltimore Ravens football team. Wakka wakka wakka! Ravens had plenty of opportunities to win the game and Tom Brady threw so many interceptions, I lost count. The results? Picks called back due to fouls, dropped TD passes in the endzone, and a shanked field goal. I’m not heartbroken! Let’s be honest. I wasn’t that into it to begin with. I would’ve loved for The Ravens to storm to Indianapolis for a Super Bowl win and put an exclamation point on the Irsay Insanity of 1984. That kinda stuff only happens in the movies though and Baltimore was not the right team to go to the Championship game this year. My only real worry is that this is as good as it gets and Baltimore is doing its own version of the Buffalo Bills in the late 80s/early 90s. The brass ring will never be ours even though this is our best team. 4 years and 4 trips to the play-offs. You just get to the point where the nail is bitten to the quick at the very though of having enough juice to make it 5 for 5. Ack!

I was actually shocked today. We had a pretty racist call about MLKJr Day. Actually it started off with an “answer” to our call about Eddie Murphy and just went on from there. I actually laughed at first cause I thought it was a big joke. Then reality sets in and you realize this guy is serious. Okay, fine, whatever. Everybody has the right to their own opinion, I suppose, but what does that get you? Does it make you feel better about yourself? Does it provide you with an escape from your own insecurities you have about yourself and the dreams you never realized because you were too stupid, lazy, or whatever. I mean, hate is a burden. I would never go so far as to say I hate any particular person, but even those that I STRONGLY dislike, I know VERY well. Having said that, the whole experience of not liking someone is very taxing. I can’t imagine hating millions upon millions of people I don’t even know just because they’re not white. It just sounds EXHAUSTING. Sure cultures differ and trying to pretend we’re all the same is just as ignorant as racism, but there’s something to learn from differences. Just as there are in someone who is the exact same age, race, religion, sexual orientation, etc as you. Those tiny differences offer a wealth of knowledge. The untold riches buried deep in someone with whom you have nothing in common has to be limitless. Of course, if knowledge WAS riches, nobody would turn the opportunity to learn down. The problem lies in the fact that knowledge IS riches…some people are just too stupid to know it.

I’m not into the whole Tebow thing. I just get excited when you have an under-dog win against a favored team that is the rival of my favorite team, but it was an impressive showing for the kid. 316 yards for the boy who would write John 3:16 on his eye paint gives it the eeriness factor that these kinda stories need. That being said, I’ll eat my hat if the Texans beat the Ravens this weekend. The good news is its a beer helmet…

FLOCK OF PAIN! Ravens all the way this year! You LAUGHED at me and you will feel my wrath when the time comes!

Brock Lesnar lost his smile…or grimace…or whatever. Its not going to happen, but I’m calling it RIGHT NOW! Surprise entrant in the Royal Rumble. Speaking of WWE, its funny how many people I had to explain what Jericho did on RAW. Seems that people forgot that there are some characters on wrasslin that you’re not supposed to like
And, finally, its nice that Tech lost their bowl game too. Hehehehe

Its all over now.  Go back to your daily routine and maybe enjoy this nice weather we’re having.  Seriously.  Can you believe its winter?  I’m just glad that the holidays are done.  The Christmas music is packed away and I can go back to not pretending to want peace on earth and good will towards men.  Women, maybe.  Men…nah…not that there’s anything wrong with that.

The good news is now we have a chance to start all over again.  The annual New Years Resolution.  I think going into 2010 was my best resolution ever.  ”Somebody is getting pregnant”.  I guess it didn’t pan out, but still!  The ambition of my YOUTH!  Ahhhhhhh…memories.  This year?  I don’t know.  Lemme get back to ya

I must take the time to say one thing on my blog this week. YOU MUST WATCH BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD! Seriously! The idea is 20 years old and it funnier than a good 90% of the stuff that tries to be funny on TV these days. Its crazy. Proof that they were WAY ahead of their time when they were banned from prime time TV in the 90s. How come nobody ever banned JORTS in the 90s? Who am I kidding. I love me a good pair of jorts…homemade just like mom used to make. Delicious…

Talking to a friend of mine the other day and she said she wasn’t very happy.  I told her to rise above it!  Her response was “Fake it?”.  And it got me thinking.  Everybody knows that if you pretend to be a certain way long enough, you stop acting and start actually BEING that way.  You become that person.  Now, I know what you’re thinking.  BUT IF I FAKE IT I AM BEING A LAME SO-AND-SO BETRAYING MY TRUE FEELINGS AND NATURE.  Well, while I do appreciate your dedication to “keeping it real”, I’m pretty sure this negative version of you betrayed the real you a long time ago.  So much to the point where you think it is the real you and forgot that it was a learned attitude…maybe left over from your teenage years.  So take a chance…re-learn…and maybe you’ll look back at sad you and think how lame it would be to “act” that way.

Let’s all laugh!  As of this writing, Kim Kardashian has filed for divorce from her husband of 2-months.  BIG SHOCKER!  HOWEVER!  You get these stories rolling in and the trolls come out from under their rocks to moan about how reality “stars” are stupid, don’t deserve their paychecks, are what’s wrong with this country, etc, etc…

First off…STUPID?  I’m sorry.  How many brands have you successfully launched?  How many millions of dollars are you raking in currently for just being YOU or at the very MOST a fictionalized version of yourself?  You’re jealous.  Plain and simple.  You work hard and get very little in return so you demonize people you’ve come to think as dumber, lazier, or uglier than you just to make yourself feel better.

Second off…Don’t deserve it?!  I thought this was America.  If someone wants to pay someone to be stupid, act stupid, WHATEVER and then record for a national broadcast then they deserve it.  I stand up for people like that because its my hope that one day I’ll get the same opportunity and be able to run with it all the way to the bank. Then you’ll look at ME and talk about how stupid, ugly, and lazy I am while I sit on my private beach and get paid.

Third…They’re what’s wrong with this country?  No…what’s wrong with this country is the people who complain about other people who make more money than them instead of going out and getting theirs.  Eyes on your own paper, people!

Now we’ve reached the chores portion of the vacational programming. Ever get that? You party HARD for a few days and when the smoke clears and all the bottles are broken, you pick yourself up and bust out the broom to sweep all the shame close enough to the drain so you can start kicking all the chunks down with the heel of your shoes. Seriously? Is that just me?

Sometimes, usually when alcohol is involved, I like to think to myself that I’ve had a brilliant thought. I remember last week thinking that I was going to be ME more than I feel like I have been. I guess, and maybe it doesn’t help given my job, but maybe I had been feeling like I haven’t been myself lately. I don’t know. Uusally with things like that, I have a tendency to notice I don’t feel right. Maybe, I can’t sleep or something…then I try to go back and see if maybe something emotional is causing the problem. Gah, I’m getting off track. My point being is I decided I was going to be ME from now on with the slogan “And if I go out in a blaze of glory, I’ll just be a street person.” Which I admit is kinda dramatic but, I would say the mantra was a success. I have taken chances, gone outside my comfort zone, embarrassed myself and laughed it, and basically did not pass up a single opportunity put before me. I also feel like many were gift wrapped to me almost as if specifically daring me to take up the guard I had proclaimed I would.

The result? Fiery inferno of self-destruction? Nope…well, at least not yet. Not that I would use this idea as an excuse for bad behavior and dare the cosmos to strike me down…but so far so good.

I also slept Sunday and Monday night like a baby…